I am considering running some basic-ass pickup D&D online from time to time and this happened. What can I say, I needed an unadorned setting.

Players of my Stonehell: Prepare to Die in-person game, don’t worry! I will keep running that campaign.

Go here for Jeff’s original quick questions prompts. Below, bolded terms are places with some degree of elaboration to which adventurers can travel.

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What is the deal with my cleric’s religion?

There are no standard clerics but spirits and demons have shrines scattered around the world. Some folk worship these beings while magicians call on them for aid and knowledge or even summon them outright. (Think Final Fantasy summons.)

Where can we go to buy standard equipment?

In the Clovertown district of Abelia, adventurers can buy digging implements, brewing equipment, knives of all types, and various oddments. Journey to other places to find other goods.

Where can we go to get platemail custom fitted for this monster I just befriended?

In Abelia, The lion tamers at the Eternal Carnival can hook you up but you need carnival tickets to get into the best events.

Who is the mightiest wizard in the land?

Unquestionably Prospero Imperatax, the Pope of Magic. He singlehandedly dissolved the Republic of Magicians and choked the ruined Republic Guildhall with the Forest of Thorns. He resides in the south.

Who is the greatest warrior in the land?

The Itinerant Queen and her retinue of Royal Hunters seek the missing prince. Since the prince disappeared, the King Primrose III cloistered himself and locked the doors of Castle Abelia. He has not been seen since and Knights Regent now rule the various districts of Abelia.

Who is the richest person in the land?

Other than the Cloistered King, who technically owns all of civilization, the treasure map seller in the Bookbinders District.

Where can we go to get some magical healing?

The bathtub chemists in Clovertown sell healing tinctures and other concoctions.

Where can we go to get cures for the following conditions: poison, disease, curse, level drain, lycanthropy, polymorph, alignment change, death, undeath?

Shivertown in the swamps to the east is home to many herbalists. Legend has it that adventurers can find spirits of the dead in the deep swamps which can then be coaxed back into corporeal shells with the help of a skilled medium.

Is there a magic guild my MU belongs to or that I can join in order to get more spells?

Independent sorcerers can learn spells from spirits and demons or concoct their own.

The Republic of Magicians is now a secret society, the members of which are hunted by the agents of Prospero Imperatax. They may safeguard old secrets though the Pope Prospero claims copyright on all spells.

Where can I find an alchemist, sage or other expert NPC?

The Librarians of the Bookbinders District are a good place to start. A library card is a necessity for all well-heeled Abelians.

Where can I hire mercenaries?

The members of the Mudlarks Society in Clovertown specialize in dangerous low-skilled labor. The standard contract contains an anti-fighting clause but mudlarks have been known to overlook such details given generous tips.

Mercenaries can sometimes be found in Starfall Basement.

Is there any place on the map where swords are illegal, magic is outlawed or any other notable hassles from Johnny Law?

Holding an unsheathed weapon in the sight of a Knight Regent is a capital offense and will invariably lead to a scene.

Which way to the nearest tavern?

In Clovertown, drinking establishments are known as basements. They are located, unsurprisingly, in basements. Pleasure houses can often be found in attics with particular delights advertised using colored chimney smoke.

What monsters are terrorizing the countryside sufficiently that if I kill them I will become famous?

The dragon Sartar ventures regularly from Cinderpeak Mountain. The Knights Regent keep the peace in the districts of Abelia but can also be a royal pain in the ass.

While not exactly causing any trouble, bagging a thunder lizard from the Bonewaste Expanse to the west or a giant serpent from the eastern swamps will establish credentials as a big game hunter of consequence. Live capture is even more impressive, and the impresarios will pay well for caged beasts.

Are there any wars brewing I could go fight?

Officially, all civilization bends knee to the King of Abelia and eternal peace reigns.

How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous cash prizes?

The Tourney at the Eternal Carnival always needs fresh meat.

Are there any secret societies with sinister agendas I could join and/or fight?

• The Republic of Magicians persists despite the efforts of Prospero
• Ghoul Loyalists work toward eventual ascension of the King in the Swamp
• Prospero’s Papacy of Magic accepts pledges of unconditional loyalty

Any legendary lost treasures I could be looking for?

???

Where is the nearest dragon or other monster with Type H treasure?

• Sartar the Unquenchable, dragon of Cinderpeak Mountain